“I was in a really dark, scary place after losing Nick and I didn’t think I had a future, but the hospice are helping me to look forward now.”
Being told you have cancer is hard enough to process. Discovering that this diagnosis gives you just three months to live is simply devastating. This was what Lisa Clowes had to face when her partner Nick was given such terrible news. Lisa quickly realised that managing Nick’s pain from kidney cancer at home, day and night, was too much for one person to cope with. Having worked as a nurse for 30 years, she knew North Devon Hospice would be able to help and the couple never looked back.
Lisa tells us: “Before the hospice, we had a blue box at home and had to call for someone to come out and administer pain relief. This could take a long time and to see someone suffering so much in front of you, when you could do nothing to help, was extremely stressful. I suggested to Nick that we got her into the hospice for pain management. Although she was reluctant at first, we stepped through those doors and were both so overwhelmed with the feeling of how safe and calm it felt there.”
“The nurses very quickly identified when she was in pain and got right on top of managing it for her. The care was just incredible, I got the old Nick back during that time.”
While being cared for on the Bedded Unit, Nick enjoyed a Christmas Day together with Lisa and their daughter, along with some special date nights which were arranged by the staff to give the couple some time together.
Lisa tells us: “The date nights we had were the most precious memories which I will cherish forever. We watched films, had some drinks and just got to be together surrounded with fairy lights. It was magical. The nurses kindly put a camp bed up next to Nick’s bed so I could stay with her too. It’s not just how unbelievably caring they were with Nick, it’s how they were with my family and I as well. She was in no pain whatsoever while she was there and it was so lovely to see that expressed on her face. She felt so safe at the hospice and as a partner, there is nothing more you could wish for.”
Nick died on the hospice’s Bedded Unit in January 2022, surrounded by her family. Lisa explains: “In my 30 years of being a nurse, it’s honestly the most peaceful passing I have ever witnessed. Every member of staff is an angel, I can’t explain my gratitude for the way they handled us as a family. Nick died with absolute dignity and completely free from any pain. The nurses with us were amazing and comforting. If I could give them the world, I would. They had time for us all and that went a long, long way in those moments. I’ll be forever grateful to all of them.”
Lisa has been continually supported by the hospice since losing Nick. “I started off having one-to-one counselling sessions, which were helpful, but I’ve now progressed onto group support and that’s been incredible for me. There are people in the group at different stages of grief so it’s amazing to see how far you’ve come and to know that things will be ok. When I lost Nick I was in a really dark and scary place, I didn’t feel like I had a future but being part of a hospice support group has changed all of that. I now feel like I have a future to look forward to and it’s made me realise that there is life after you’ve lost someone. You won’t ever forget them but I know that I can move on and do the things that Nick and I had planned to do together. I’ve made some life-long friends in our hospice support group who are all going through the same thing as me, so I have their support to pull me through any bad days and celebrate the good days.”
“The hospice’s support has been incredible and helped change my thought patterns so much. I’ve been able to go back to work sooner than planned and feel like I can carry on my life with positivity. Now when I’m at work and a patient or family member mentions the hospice, I can hand on heart tell them that it’s a beautiful, safe place and I wouldn’t have been able to get through the last few months without their amazing support.”